Even the iron lady is defeated this time.

They do not believe in you. They couldnt believe I am being treated like this - dumped, ignored yet I still stood by. What is the difference between my old grandma and I? Her husband bit her but she never leave him. He didnt work hard all his life, in fact he was always drunk thru out his life, she worked, toilled to support the family. There's no difference, it's all because of FAITH. I have faith in you But you kept me disappointed.

I've told myself before that I shouldn't care about who make the 1st move. If I truly fall for this person, I shouldnt care the previlege that a girl should have. It's 21st century, girls can take up boys' role. But in their heads, no matter how the world changes, girls should be treated like princess. And they kept injecting this to my head that I shouldnt deprive a girl's gift.

I have my own life, own principles that they will never understand. I dont care how the world sees me. I believe I should strive for what I want, so that when I was defeated, I would have no regrets at least I tried. However, we cant clap with just a hand. No matter how hard one party tries, the tune just wouldnt sound.

There are many words that I want to sing. But I always think of the consequences that it brings, and what result I want it to give. Negatives effects, I'll just swallow all of them. Positive effects, I'll make them into a melody. But these days, I couldnt differentiate them anymore. Have I not been manage my own thoughts lately? or I havent been playing the organ for a long time that I've forgotten how beautiful a melody can be.

I know the other hand is working hard too, perhaps. As I always say, busy is the word for a better future. Perhaps neither you nor I see the effects now. But who are you and who am I to object his hardworking. Hence, I choose to be the one supporting what you do quietly.

P.S Sorry mama, if this broke your heart again. I couldnt always live up to your expectation, I have my own life too.

Same old SH*T happening again...

After so many years, the same old Sh*t happening again. I totally have confidence in you. Why do you want to say sth like that to shake my confidence. Well, I definitely understand that you just want to wake me up from this ignorance that I fall in.

I kept looking for reasons, excuses for you. I understand that we need time. We are both still young. We need time for our own. But they dont see it. They dont understand how we live.

All the sudden, their words recall some memories in the past. They are just being protective. They are just afraid I will be hurt again, waiting for something that will not blossom.

You shook me, scolding me that I should stop being silly again, said I should have learnt from the mistake. I am hurt that you dont see what I believe in. I am sad that I did not protect you enough. I am falling because I am falling deep and hard again.